How to : absurd scientific advice for common real-world problems / Randall Munroe.

Includes bibliographical references (pages 292-299) and index.

Introduction -- How to jump really high -- How to throw a pool party -- How to dig a hole -- How to play the piano -- How to listen to music -- How to make an emergency landing -- How to cross a river -- How to move -- How to keep your house from moving -- How to chase a tornado -- How to build a lava moat -- How to throw things -- How to play football -- How to predict the weather -- How to go places -- How to play tag -- How to ski -- How to mail a package -- How to power your house (on Earth) -- How to power your house (on Mars) -- How to make friends -- How to blow out birthday candles -- How to walk a dog -- How to send a file -- How to charge your phone -- How to take a selfie -- How to catch a drone -- How to tell if you're a Nineties Kid -- How to win an election -- How to decorate a tree -- How to build a highway -- How to get somewhere fast -- How to be on time -- How to dispose of this book -- How to change a lightbulb.

For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally complex, excessive, and inadvisable that no one would ever try it. Munroe has created a guide to the third kind of approach. He provides highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole. Cartoonist Randall Munroe (xkcd) explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun. By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible and helps us better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.-- adapted from jacket.